Will you stop on the hot coals?

Or keep placing one foot in front of the other?

I don’t know if it’s because I’m changing, but an air of change is upon us. A change in the way we do things, look at things, a change in the way we interact with each other, with the world.

It’s hard to articulate what is changing, sometimes you just know it is. For me, a lot comes down to a feeling. A knowing that things simply can’t stay the same. There is suffering in attachment and acknowledging that sometimes whether we like it or not change IS inevitable creates far less suffering than if we were to hope that things would always be the same.

Maybe not everyone is feeling this, but after a year of turmoil, uncertainty, endings and a whole lot of friction on many fronts, there’s a whiff of something different. Like those things were preparatory for what is to come.

Change is hard to hear, it’s hard to feel, it’s hard to control. It is, however, how we transform. Whether it’s hot coals you’re tiptoeing over or raging flames, the longer we hesitate the more we burn. The more dynamic, concise and adaptable we prepare ourselves to be the less time we stand in the fire and the greater our capacity to melt and mould into what our next iteration needs to be.

The alternative? We stay the same and time after time we get hit, things get hard, feel sluggish, don’t flow, the energy doesn’t lie - if we need to change, it will make us, which includes breaking us if needed.

So here we are, 6 weeks out from a change. One that landed as a seed, grew into an avalanche and is throwing us big time into an unknown. Two kids in tow.

What’s changing - we’re leaving Australia. For how long, we’re not entirely sure.

What does it mean? Our life as we know it won’t be the same, although remnants of what can remain will - like my online studio space (expect me filming from Greece, Italy, Spain and England until we settle, if at all).

What does it also mean? Maybe it’s not forever, but maybe it is, we really don’t know anything other than it’s time to go.

I wrote a little while ago about making decisions from a place of fear vs. a steady understanding that something needs to be done. And have had to sit with this notion, realising that this decision is definitely the latter.

In 2021 we VERY seriously considered up and leaving Australia forever, the state of the country, it’s rhetoric towards people who cared about life and living well was disgusting, and truly, the safe haven we had chosen to bring our children into the world in was fast becoming a place of hate and degradation.

So we prepared our passports, we looked at what was happening in countries overseas, we let the universe speak: if one of us lost our jobs, we were out. We both kept them. We kept our heads above water and we kept our babies safe. We voiced our opinions and made conscious choices and changes to the businesses we supported and the way we looked at education and the systems we were part of. We changed, but our location didn't.

Fast forward 3 years and the idea arrived again. This time not because of fear of rules and regulations and separation, but because it felt like a time of change was simply nearing.

Olive turned 5, Hem 3.5, education became the topic of conversation.

We had spent the previous year loving the way our children were learning, surrounded by a Village - held by wonderful ‘teachers’ and friends. A community of people wanting to do things differently knowing that the world was changing at a rapid pace and that our children needed skills of resilience, time in nature, the ability to think, problem solve, use their hands and their hearts to discern how to contribute to community and the world. Then the government, they stepped in. Their rules, their prerogatives, their money making schemes. No talk of what was best for the kids or even that as parents we have the ability to make decisions on behalf of them. In fact it was the neighbours - somewhere - who raised their complaint - children laughing all day? What a horrendous sound for them to have to listen to. And the Council of course has to enforce their rules once they know that a family was trying to make a living off private land - they had to find a way to control, all must conform.

Lo and behold, the school closed, and then the bombs, one by one dropped, at first, small, but heartbreaking, across all aspects of life. My work, school, friendships. We stayed.

Then more, one by one. We listened.

Then more, bigger, bigger and even bigger again. How could we not lean into this? What does this all mean?

Finally, unable to be ignored, another sign. It’s time.

So here we are, about to pack up our home, rent it out, about to fly. One way into the unknown. Two children, now 6 and 4.5 in tow. With some plans and ideas yes, but also with no plan and a knowing that every inch of our adaptability and resilience is going to be tested as we figure out what this even means and where it will land us.

The hardest part? Knowing that change is both inevitable and that leaving people we love deeply behind may mean that things will never be the same again.

What is better, to stay and stand still on the hot coals, or to take one step at a time into an unknown future?

I’m grateful for the work that I can take with me, I’m grateful for 22 year old me for completing a yoga teacher training - back then because I knew I could use it to take me anywhere in the world - now because I know it will help me to adapt to wherever I am in the world.

I’m grateful that my home, is my family, and when we are together we are home - no matter our immediate surroundings.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to pull apart and put back together the parts of our family, our hearts, and to be able to do so from anywhere in the world.

I know that a lesson from this experience, as we untie the strings of our heart to lessen our gripping on what was is one of non-attachment. Aparigraha in action.

Non attachment isn’t what you think it is. You see it’s actually just knowing that you are not your surroundings, your ideas, your earnings, your ‘things’ - aparigraha is a knowing that you exist with ALL and with NONE of those things. It is an untangling of your Self from the worldly attachments you form, it is loving hard AND knowing when to let go. It’s about being FULLY IN and ABLE TO WALK AWAY. It’s navigating life with grace and ease, steadiness and strength through IT ALL, all at once. It’s knowing that one day your vessel won’t exist, but your essence still will. It’s knowing that AND living so fully in each moment that you could leave and know you had experienced exactly what you were meant to. That even though everything will change, it is the only constant and to hold onto something staying the same for too long will only cause suffering.

So friends, as my family steps into this next iteration, one full of hope, fear, sadness and excitement, I wanted to let you know - sometimes it all has to burn to the ground, and start again, even if that is the scariest thing you’ve ever had to do. But also, maybe you want to listen before it burns to the ground and simply do the thing and allow the change to come to fruition…

As we navigate this time with as much grace as we can I hope you’ll continue to follow the journey, some snippets on here, location changes for my online yoga studio which you can join - from anywhere in the world! And I look forward to sharing more about what we experience and how our next iteration unfolds on here.

With love to you all, thank you for being here, for reading these worlds, and for supporting this unfolding, one moment, one country, one choice at a time.

Kat x